Am I Selfish
My mom was with me every day last week to help me out. Since I breastfeed the baby and I had a c-section (painful I say, painful) my mom mostly helped out with things around the house that I could not really do. Like laundry, light cleaning and cooking dinner a few nights. Oh yeah, she got tired of looking at my dirty toilet and cleaned it on her own. That I never expected, both toilets in my house at that! Anyways, when my mom was here one day, my mother-in-law stopped by and told my mom that she would come over this week and help out. So tell me readers, what do you expect is help? Oh wait I should not EXPECT anything. What would you desire someone to do to help you out after you have major surgery and you’re in a lot of pain while dealing with lack of sleep? I desired just a little bit more then what my mother-in-law provided. Sorry, it was like more a stressful situation then helpful. First of all she has two ankle bitters, Chihuahua’s. She asked me Monday if I mind if she brought them. YES I did mind, but somehow one ended up coming over one day and then today they BOTH were here! UGH!! I did not want either one in my home. The dog smell, fleas, perhaps an accident on my hardwood floors. Anyways, her idea of help is nothing but helping herself feel like she helped. Today she took my older son in his room to play for 45 mins or so, to put it nicely the room is now trashed! It was nice and clean (thanks to my mom!) and now the room has so many toys on the floor I can not open the door all the way! WTF! She was here to help, but now I have a kids room to clean up. Then I feed the baby and put him in the swing for a nap and next thing I new she picked him up. Ok, I understand you want to hold your grandchild, that’s cool. But when you hold the baby and I have to make my older son lunch, myself lunch, wipe my older son’s butt and get no help else where, but yet say I would do that but I have the baby. The baby was ASLEEP! He could have easily been left in the swing and I could have gotten some HELP!!! On top of it all, I am in a lot of pain today. My prescriptions have run out and Tylenol just doesn’t cut it!! So, I’ve pretty much laid down all day to get some much needed rest. I did have a friend come over that brought me a very delicious lunch (she cooked a spinach quiche from scratch) and took my older son outside to play! Wow! A new friend I just met about a month ago did this for me. She is a blessing from God! Her and her husband (her husband a good friend to my hubby). She made me feel really good today. She really wanted to help, all the while she had to care for her 6 month old son! Wow, I’m impressed she went out of her way to help me.
So, tell me am I selfish to have expected desired a little more help from my mother-in-law?
The Baby Blues
I know that it is normal to have a little bit of depression after having a baby. I had that last night. The hubby went to dinner to celebrate his friends birthday, with my blessings he went alone. Well, my older son was a bit cranky from the lack of a nap, I was without another adult in the house (my mom has been with me every day this week while the hubby is at work), and I was feeling down a little. On top of that it seemed that every time I turned around I was getting on my older son for doing something to get in trouble. Yeah you should have seen the roll to TP and the thing he did with it. I can’t remember how many times I had to put him in time out. Lets just say it was tugging on my heart strings. It was killing me to have to discpline him so much, but I know I can’t back down for the “sack of me”. I had to call the hubby and ask when he was coming home. He heard in my voice something was wrong and offered to come home immediately. Thank you honey it really meant a lot. So, I am feeling better today. Even though I’ve been home for a few weeks now, I am ready for the weekend, ready to have the hubby with me during the day. Ready to have our first weekend at home with our new family. My older son gets to go to a birthday party for one of his little girlfriends, so that will be something special that daddy will take him too. I will have a few hours alone with the baby. Hoping no more baby blues pop up.
I should have mentioned this first…
I should have mentioned all the details of the babies birth and all the good stats first. Baby was born Thursday, June 12th at 1:08pm weighing in at 9lbs 5oz and 21 1/4 inches. Yeah BIG baby! The doctor said it was a good thing that I scheduled for the c-section because I would have ended up having one anyways. Needless to say the hubby and I were very surprised by the weight. Our first son was 7lbs 12oz, 22 inches. So we have one big boy on our hands. He is very healthy and eating good. I call him my little wiggle worm, it is almost impossible to change his diaper from his squirming all over. He has the normal chunky rolls of a baby with some weight on them. I am not used to that, the first was always a tiny baby and his doctor had always had concerns of his weight, although the hubby and I were always skinny until we were in our 30’s. (we’ve only filled out now)
Bragging Session No. 1
Please let me have a moment to brag about my older son and tell you when he melted my heart.
The other day I was finishing up changing the babies diaper while he was practicing his lungs and vocal cords – or in other words crying on the top of his lungs. As I was consoling the baby and saying he would eat as soon as the diaper change was done, my older son left the room. When I came out to the kitchen I stumped upon my older son. He had gotten a bottle out, a nipple and pulled the milk out of the frig. He was about to pour some milk in the bottle for the baby. I was so proud of him. He wanted to help out so bad! I thanked him for wanting to help and explained the baby gets special milk and does not drink the same milk we drink.
Here is another one:
Yesterday morning I had been up with the baby for over an hour while trying to console him. The baby wasn’t hungry, nor tired and he didn’t want to fall back to sleep. I was almost to the point of passing him off to the hubby, even if he was getting ready for work and probably didn’t have the time. About this time my older son woke up and came into the with concern on his face he walked over to the baby and I. He then proceeded over to the bassinet and picked up the babies pacifier, then he came over to the baby and put it in his mouth. OMG! Why had I not thought of that before! The baby stopped crying! Gees, my older son just consoled his baby brother. I was so proud of him, he got plenty of hugs and kisses from me!!
Back to Normal
Last night was a success! I was able to transition back to breastfeeding without the baby having any problems. What a relief. I am very happy. Although, he is nursing every two hours, I don’t mind. It is for the best of my baby and I know that over time he will begin to eat less often.
You ask about my sleep? Yeah, I’m pretty much tired all the time. I’ve tried to take little naps here and there but have not had much success. My mom is here this week and you would think I would be sleeping all the time, but I just can’t.
Had a doctor’s appointment today to take my staples out. All is well and I am healing good. My feet and ankles are very swollen, but doc reassures me that it’s normal and should go down soon. Sure makes it hard and hurt to walk around, and gees I thought you are suppossed to waddle when your pregnant and not afterwards. I didn’t waddle when I was pregnant but I sure am now! I’m starting to feel better slowly but surely. All of this is so worth it though, when I look at my children it puts nothing but a smile to my face.
Pump and Dump
I’m one of those mothers that is proud and very happy about breastfeeding my children. My first was breastfed until he was a year old and I would never have done it any other way. The bond we share is unreal.
On my last day in the hospital I had a very bad headache and my blood pressure shot up to 142/86 and they had to test me for preeclampsia again and sent me for an MRI. Needless to say because of the die injected in me for the MRI I’ve had to pump and dump (that basically means trash the milk cause my son can not drink it – ugh!) my breastmilk until tomorrow evening. I was so upset to find out I had to do this. We’ve had to feed him formula in the mean time and I DON’T LIKE it one bit. I’m praying every time I pump that my son goes back to the breast and doesn’t want the formula. But it was necessary to make sure I was ok and he gets fed at the same time. It was a very emotionally time in the hospital finding out this news. If I knew I could get away with it I would have told the doctors the pain was going away. Less then 24 hours and back to normal on the feedings and keeping the faith he will transition back with no problems.
Update on Sleeping with a 3 year old…
Just to let you know a good update on how it is going with getting our son back in HIS BED FULL TIME. He has successfully slept in his bed for a full night, several nights now. Yes, ocassionally he has come back in to our bed, such as this morning. Yet he only came in out 30 mins before the hubby had to get up for the day. All in all I would say that is really good. We have praised him tremendously when he sleeps in his bed all night. He himself is very proud and excited to tell us that he slept in HIS bed all night! Way to go son, mommy and daddy are very proud of you.
Why Question OUR Choice
Why do people question why my hubby and I have decided to schedule a c-section for the birth of OUR son? It’s MY BODY dammit. What gives anyone the right to question what I have chosen. I’m just a little upset when someone questioned why I’m not having a natural birth with my second child. My first was an emergency c-section, I surely DID NOT want to go through that again. It was my choice! Be nothing but supportive! No they weren’t totally supportive, well so and so had a natural birth after her first was a c-section. Well that is wonderful for HER, not ME! Be supportive, be be supportive! Oh well, this person has always kinda had a very strong opinion and sometimes doesn’t know when NOT to speak it. I just should try to brush it off as who they are and go on.
I’m having my second son tomorrow, via C-SECTION…LOL
Just TWO days
I’m only two days away from my hospital trip and the birth of my second son. I’ve been talking to my son to prepare him and hoping he understands at least half of what I am telling him. He is so concerned for me when he sees me upset or cry that I don’t want him to feel sad or bad when he sees me in the hospital. He also knows that the baby in my belly will soon be here. I wonder how much of that he truely understands. I do have to admit I am a bit nervous coming home with a new baby. Concerns of how my son will do. I have hopes that he will be my big helper, but I don’t want him to feel like he has been pushed aside for the new baby. That would just break my heart! I know I have enough love for both my sons! This is a new phase of my hubby and my life together. Here we go…
Home alone
It can be pretty lonely being home alone, specially when you have been in the presence of your child all week. The hubby and I feel that day care is a good experience for our son and will take him at least once a week while I am home. I’m sure our son loves to see his little girlfriends too, he is already such the ladies man. However, that doesn’t make it any easy for mommy to be without her half pint sidekick. I do miss his “mommy” “mommy” “mommy” “mommy” until you vocally address him, just looking at him doesn’t work. I do miss the every 2 minute update of what is going on with his favorite educational cartoons each morning. I even miss his announcements that he has to go pee. I have to wait until he gets home to get some lovings! The day will be too long and move to slowly. How soon can I pick him up for day care? Not soon enough!
