To tell him where to go
Last night the hubby asked me if he could call Alan, my abuser, to talk to him about me confronting him and getting everything out on the table of how I feel towards him and what he has done to me. Not the physical things he did to me, but all the emotional trauma he has caused me for many many years. My hubby asked me first, which I respect, if he could call him. I’m glad he did not do it behind my back. I’m fine with him calling. Part of me believes he may never even get him on the phone, just the mere fact of how much of an asshole Alan is. I do not know how if will go if he does get to talk to him. This would be the first step of several to get to him face to face. Even when and IF I did get the chance to tell him how I feel face to face, how much strength would I really have. My hubby would be there to give me as much strength as he could, but would that man I know as my father that had so much intimidation over me when I was younger still hold that over me now? I do not know. I would hope that he does not. I would hope that over the time I have not been in his life and some healing I would be able to look him in the face and just LET HIM HAVE IT! It is what I really want to do and something I feel would really help me get some since of closure. I’ve never gotten closure; and that is a big part of healing. We will see what happens over the course of time now and if and when my hubby calls this bastard.
