His thoughts sadden me…to the core
I’m a survivor of sexual abuse, but I can NOT tell you how a husband of a sexually abused women handles it. It seems right now that my hubby is having a very difficult time dealing with some of the effects of my abuse. He says he feels more comfortable sleeping on the couch. This has been a huge pet peeve of mine for years. I’ve accepted my hubby sleeping on the couch as it has become such a habitat for him. I’ve also requested that he not come to by after 2am as it wakes me and I can not go back to sleep until I have to get up at 5am. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and wake him up off the couch to come to bed but now I figure why should I be the only one to make some effort for him to come to bed. I’ve asked him to try to make an effort to come to bed, but it hasn’t gotten anywhere.
I did ask him to not grope me as I would feel like a piece of meat when he did so. BUT that DID NOT mean to stop touching me all together. A lightly caress on the butt, a gentle kiss on the back of the neck or a whisper of I love you in the ear has NEVER been turned away. I would so welcome this, but he doesn’t. So he feels that the hard grab on the ass is now out that he can’t touch me at all. Asking to not grope me did not mean stop touching me.
As he mentioned this weekend is our anniversary, namely today. I planned a beach weekend away to be away from the stresses to enjoy time with him. Now he is not looking forward to it. Boy! That feels really good when your hubby says that. I will leave this at just this, this weekend was for our anniversary…go figure that!
And as a response to me saying my son and I can go alone was in a discussion about bringing extra money in the house and my frustration level was getting a little high. My comment was meant in a joking/serious way. The End. I’m not going back into that conversation to explain myself. Anyhoo…
I’m going to the beach later today for a few days to enjoy my anniversary with the hubby and I hope he realizes that was my gift to him, my way of saying I love you and I want to spend time with you.
Off I go…
