Signs
On a Plumbers truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
At a towing Company:
“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
In a nonsmoking area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
Outside a muffler shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
My tank is empty…and it may have a hole
Last night my hubby and I went to see a counselor together. IT’S ABOUT TIME! Anyways…she brought up the love languages and said it was important for us to learn our own and each other’s love languages. Letting us know that when our “tank is empty” we need the other to help fill it. We couldn’t have it any other way, but my hubby and I don’t share the same languages. AH-HA! That is why it is so hard sometimes. We each have to work supper hard to fill the others “tank”. BUT my hubby didn’t realize if he was filling my tank then why was it not getting full. Well, I may have a hole in it OR that it is was just way more empty then he thought. BOY! No one every told you that love and marriage were a different language nor so hard. It wouldn’t make a difference, I would still be “here” today in my marriage, but damn…it should be a requirement to take marriage classes or something before you can get married! Easier to learn all this stuff before the shit hits the fan, yeah know. Anyhoo…I love my husband and through it all I do want to be with him.
I don’t feel like blogging
As many of you are aware there have been some home issues the past few days. Well I just don’t feel like blogging or even making comments to the comments my hubby has received. I’m not going to explain my actions or feel the need to justify anything that I have said or done.
I don’t even feel the need to blog about the simplest crap as that new manager pissing me off.
So I am signing off for now…until I feel the need to blog again.
His thoughts sadden me…to the core
I’m a survivor of sexual abuse, but I can NOT tell you how a husband of a sexually abused women handles it. It seems right now that my hubby is having a very difficult time dealing with some of the effects of my abuse. He says he feels more comfortable sleeping on the couch. This has been a huge pet peeve of mine for years. I’ve accepted my hubby sleeping on the couch as it has become such a habitat for him. I’ve also requested that he not come to by after 2am as it wakes me and I can not go back to sleep until I have to get up at 5am. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and wake him up off the couch to come to bed but now I figure why should I be the only one to make some effort for him to come to bed. I’ve asked him to try to make an effort to come to bed, but it hasn’t gotten anywhere.
I did ask him to not grope me as I would feel like a piece of meat when he did so. BUT that DID NOT mean to stop touching me all together. A lightly caress on the butt, a gentle kiss on the back of the neck or a whisper of I love you in the ear has NEVER been turned away. I would so welcome this, but he doesn’t. So he feels that the hard grab on the ass is now out that he can’t touch me at all. Asking to not grope me did not mean stop touching me.
As he mentioned this weekend is our anniversary, namely today. I planned a beach weekend away to be away from the stresses to enjoy time with him. Now he is not looking forward to it. Boy! That feels really good when your hubby says that. I will leave this at just this, this weekend was for our anniversary…go figure that!
And as a response to me saying my son and I can go alone was in a discussion about bringing extra money in the house and my frustration level was getting a little high. My comment was meant in a joking/serious way. The End. I’m not going back into that conversation to explain myself. Anyhoo…
I’m going to the beach later today for a few days to enjoy my anniversary with the hubby and I hope he realizes that was my gift to him, my way of saying I love you and I want to spend time with you.
Off I go…
Something against women…he has a problem
I’m starting to think that new manager has something against women, like we are not equal, able to do a good job because we are women or something to that nature. Yesterday before he went home sick I got cc’d on an email he sent to a coworker (a women). I called him on it, asked him why he sent the email. He had just spoken to this coworker the day before about the same very thing. I asked him if he explained “this” to her the day before. He said he did and this is where he pisses me off. He said “This is a delicate situation and I need to remind her of the processes.” What the F**K! You just told her the day before, what do you think she is incapable of remembering? Do you think she is an idiot! What the hell! Who the hell are you to treat women like this. I don’t see him talk to the male coworkers like this! I’m losing respect for you NICK everyday!!!
Where’d this come from?
I started thinking about the pain and anger that Alan has brought me. I haven’t thought about this crap for almost a month now, ever since both cases against him had to be closed because of the statues of limitations. Still pisses me off, but anyways. I don’t know what prompted me to think about this crap again. It is like it is in front of my brain, my thoughts. Damn, and I don’t want to think about it right now. My five your anniversary to my hubby is tomorrow and I really want to enjoy our weekend away. Our mini vacation. I was thinking in the car ride into work today that maybe I could write him a letter. As I was thinking of what I wanted to write I became anger and my thoughts to him were becoming quite strong. I’m thinking I really should write him this letter. This is at least the second time I have really thought about it. Some of the words that began to flow were:
“you are not my father”
“asshole”
“how the hell could you”
“you dissappoint me”
“you deserve to be in jail” – more so rot
“sicko perv”
Ok, I need to stop now, because I am slowly becoming more angry and that would not be a good idea here at work. I’m done for now.
Oh Happy Day…
I will allow you to call me a bitch, but that new manager was not here yesterday and he went home sick today. Oh happy day!!!
I know, I’m bad; but I am NOT the only one here that feels this way!!!
What do you get?
What do you get when five women get together to chat? One wild conversation. Where have our minds gone? And you men think that only you are the ones that talk about sex so much. Well, we women seem to squeeze it in here and there. But not normally at the office. WHAT? Yup, somehow back by my office where not many others in the office frequent, we got on the conversation of sex, going to the adult store and purchasing toys, someone likes to watch videos. Oh, yeah and my boss (no not that new manager) strongly suggests purchasing “the silver bullet.” MMMM wonder what her favorite toy is. Yikes! That is not something I really want to know about the women I work with. How the hell did we get on that conversation? Some one must have been horny or something. Gees and I am sure my hubby wished it were me; but I did not have anything to do with the topic of choice today. Oh wait, it gets better. We had dirty office talk last week too. What! Oh my gosh! We are just sad aren’t we?? Anyhoo…I’m sure it is not the last time. We are not innocent anymore…
Proud of my son I am…
This past weekend was a very exhausting three days. Friday, my son and I left for a weekend road trip. We left the house at 10:00am and didn’t arrive to our destination until about 6:30pm. Yes, very long day. My son did very well. The secret: One nap on the road (2 hours down), lunch break (45 mins down), one video iPod with Happy Feet, Cars, and Arthur and the Invisibles (almost 2 hours down), two dozen books (45 mins down), that annoying ABC CD that I know ALL the words to (45 mins down), that rest area (45 mins down) and lastly another nap (1 hour down). We made it.
Oh wait there is more…Saturday was an hour and fifteen minute drive to the bridal shower we drove up for. Three hours at the bridal shower. Now how do you keep a 2 1/2 year old busy at a bridal shower? Well I did it and everyone commented on how well behaved he was. Then after the shower another 4 hour drive to my friends house. Thankfully food, the iPod and my son falling asleep helped this ride.
Now Sunday, heading home. That was another 5 1/2 hour drive. The same things helped on the way home as they did going up. I do have to say my son ROCKED! I am so proud and happy he did so well. I was truly amazed. I expected the worse. Oh speaking of worse, the worse thing that did happen was the nosebleed he had while I was in the fast lane hauling butt. A quick flick of the hazards while wiping across three lanes of traffic and 25 mins later we were back on the road.
I’m home now and am so exhausted! I need a vacation! That’s this weekend, a mini one though, but a vacation it will be. I can’t wait til I hit that beach!
Just thought I would let you know…
I don’t always complain about everything or even certain things in particular. I’m a pretty happy go lucky person. It just seems to help me to deal with stress by “writing things out”.
I think I need to write something cheery soon as to not feel like I’m always bitchy…even for myself.
