The Manager Can’t Manage
What do you do when you have a new manager and they are so poor at it? I used to love coming to work, but now, I can’t say its that way. This new manager just doesn’t get it. Not only is the management style very poor, the communication skills well, for a lack of a better word, suck! I’m sure I’ve shared a many puzzled, confused and even a pissed look on my face. Now I’m left to send emails that prove my competence at my job. I don’t think the realization that I did the job before, I can still do my job now has even crossed this managers brain. Oh yeah, I’m not the only one feeling this way. That I know there are 3 of us. What does that tell ya!?! UUGGHH!! Ok, enough time wasted on that.
Boys will be boys
My son, now at the ripe young age of 2 1/2 (3 in December) has SO discovered his penis. We (or shall I say he) is way beyond “what’s this”. That’s your penis son – as I would say; or Your pee pee – as daddy would say. He so plays with his penis all the time! My gosh you would think it is a brand new toy – EVERYDAY. He plays in the bath tub, oh yeah, you give him the soap to wash and it’s like a magnet straight to the penis. We are in the midst of potty training, so while in his big boy underwear, straight to the magnet trap he goes, again. I’ve even caught him moving the underwear aside to get, what, a better grip. I don’t know. Man is it crazy or what. Oh, yeah and those morning wake up calls, no not his, mommies. Yup when I wake him up, he is not the only one up. I’ve even seem him reach for it in his sleep! My gosh, what is such the big fascination over it. It’ll be years before he knows the truth behind the bigger version. Oh yeah, and to all of you who pose the question “why do guys always have a hard-on first thing in the morning”, your answer lies here.
No one every told you this happens to little boys. Thanks for the warning!
“We the people”…know not much
I had a very interesting chat the other day with a dear friend who is in the military. Currently he is stationed in Korea and should be home soon for his new base location. Somehow we got on the subject of the war of in Iraq and surrounding countries. I told him I was tired of the war and I was quickly corrected that I didn’t really know what was going on. He is so right. We the people of this country don’t know that much about the war. We are only given little tidbits here and there and only what the government and media want, more so allow (by the government). I was also reassured that at least 80% of the troops WANT to be there and that less then 15% only went into the military to get help with money for college and never expected to see “battle”. I think it takes A LOT for someone to join up no matter what. Not everyone can do that. Not everyone does! But what really gets me is that the government wants our support, but they don’t tell us everything. Give it to us straight! We REALLY want to know. Tell us the good the bad and the ugly. We are adults and we can handle it! I believe God doesn’t give us more then what we can handle, so I believe divine intervention would help with those who don’t want to know or can’t handle the truth. If you don’t want to see it or hear about it, don’t watch the world news or open that section of the paper; it’s that simple.
I want to hear what everyone else thinks. Don’t spare me my feelings, I really want to know. Tell it to me straight!
Sick to my stomach
I received yet again, depressing news, the second police report I filed was sent to the state’s district attorney. I received a letter today that they can not prosecute Alan, the statues of limitations have run out. I’m just sick to my stomach that this bastard can get away with something like this and I am sitting here left with out closure, still. I’m sick to my stomach because I know he has and will do this again to someone else. He is a sick sick man and needs help and to be stopped. Anyone know any politicians that have a way with government? We need to get these statues of limitations removed for things like this. What about all the kids that say their Catholic priests molested them, how come they can prosecute, but I can’t??? Any whoo…I’m depressed by all this nonsense law crap. Again, it does not help the victim when the victim didn’t know any better when the crap happened. Oh well…what do I do now?
Embarrassed by a name
After I left the daily abuse from Alan I went on my way with life, trying to find my way in this world. There was always something that followed me everywhere I went that eluded back to Alan – a constant reminder. His last name. I was always embarrassed by my last name – his name. I even made efforts to start to change my last name to my step-father’s last name. Timing was never on my side to change the name, but I am not proud of it nor do I care to share it with most. When I got married it not only meant I began to share my life with my husband I took on his name. Finally a name I could be proud of, a name I was not embarrassed to speak, and a name that is now mine.
I’ll tell you a little more…
Alan lives in North Carolina, he has a wife (whom seems to be clueless as to what he did). Alan is 6′2″ and weighs at least 260lbs. Last I saw him he looked very homely, was missing a tooth (like one before his molar) and had “let” himself go. He is a very intimidating and manipulative man. He would act like your best friend but use you in a heart beat.
I pray…let no other women fall victim to his sick ways.
I pray…let no other child wonder into his sick sick world.
I pray…let no other mother be manipulated by him for his sick pleasure.
I pray.
To a survivor of sexual abuse…”it IS dirty”
As a survivor of sexual abuse masturbation is not an easy topic to think about much less discuss. When you escape the abuse and begin to heal and become the survivor you learn all about the things your abuser did were wrong. For me, Alan not only masturbated in front of me but he also talked about it. In the end knowing that the act of his masturbation in front of me was wrong everything he ever told me about it was wrong too. Yes, he told me that it was something normal, to me now it is not. He told me that it IS ok for women to masturbate, to me now it IS NOT ok. You see I have to rethink and relearn the things that ARE OK and that ARE NORMAL. Right now neither are ok or normal, when I know one TRULY is sick and wrong while the other in essence is ok.
New Memory saddens me
Last night just as I was getting comfortable in bed and thinking to myself someway to get closure to this abuse from Alan. I thought maybe I could write him a letter. In my head I was thinking of what I would write to him and somehow also hoping my stepmother would read it before him. My words to him were quit angry and nothing but direct when out of the blue I remembered something else that happened. Oh my word where did this memory come from! I had not remembered this at all and now it is flooded in my brain with the rest of them. Of course I will call the detective and let him know, not knowing if this will change anything or weather it is outside the statues of limitations, but it is worth being documented with the law. So now I am left wondering what else. What else will I remember. I even had thoughts I’d never had before and even wonder if he had raped me. You see when I was little I was so scared to go into his bedroom. I would want to go to a friends house to play, but while he was napping I would sit in my room scared to go in and ask. I would be almost in tears for I wanted out of the house and to be safe with friends; but my fear of that room was more powerful then my desire to go play and be free. So now I wait for more memories to come, as I am sure they are there.
“Seat Pee-ers” disgust me
This goes out to all the women whom have sat on the toilet seat (public restrooms) and gotten a rude surprise when you stood up. Your butt and thighs were wet. What is the problem with someone SITTING down or using the “butt protectors” (they are provided by the management for your protection anyways). Do you have any respect for the other women who will use those facilities after you have left? What is it? Are you lazy and don’t feel like sitting down or taking the time to use the “butt protector“? Well I take the extra 3 seconds to use it! Stop peeing on the seat!! You are making me waste my time cleaning up your pee! It disgusts me even more when you find this in a professional office. Kinda makes you wonder what kind of women you have trolling around the office. Yuck!
Wondering minds want to know
Did you ever wonder why your family can piss you off so much? Did you ever wonder how your family that should be so close to you could be so clueless as to WHO you are? I love those emails where you get the 20 questions for people to answer about you. I love to see the responses, it seems that friends know more then your own family. My mom didn’t even know my correct eye color. She thought they were hazel, NOPE! They are green! Not the faded green, but a rich deep green. I’m also a lover of music, who could not know this as I always have the music up in the car and loud too! Even my son loves music, he is one hell of a dancer already too. I love a lot of genre’s of music too, but family still seems to guess it wrong. My step-sister (whom I am not close to by far) seems to think she knows me. Nope you don’t either. The slightest little clues if they just took the time to look and listen they would know. Anyone else feel the same way?????
