A mommy, wife and friend…a survior of child sexual abuse

I’m basically writing to tell my story and the steps that I will be taking over the course of the next few weeks.

A little bit of History

I am a survivor of sexual abuse by the hands of a father. A man I once called daddy. I was too young to know the difference and too scared to tell. My abuser had this intimidation factor over me. He manipulated me to believe what he did was done to all the other young girls my age. The process of teaching me about sex and my body. He even told me “stories” that his co-worker was “teaching” his daughter the same thing. All lies. As a little girl you look up to and believe your daddy. You take his word as truth. Never could I ever imagine that my “daddy” was wrong, bad, or breaking the law. But he did. The abuse went on for a few years before my mom began to wonder why the once straight A and B student was now making D’s and failing classes. I was living with my “dad” at the time, the child of divorced parents. So my mom would only see me every other weekend. Those weekends were my safe haven, but I had to go back. My mom did not have the courage or what have you to ask me what was happening in my life, my Grandma became my saving Grace.

A Mother’s Let Down

Short and sweet. Once my mom found out, I no longer was living at my “dads”, that was a given. But what happened next is hard to handle. My mom, the one who should protect me, did nothing. She did not file a police report, she did nothing. Oh, unless of course you count telling the man who just molested your daughter for years that he needs to seek counseling. Thanks mom! Yeah, I too went to a counselor. What help that did. The molester still could see me, still could talk to me, still could intimidate me! This went on for another few years. It even went on into my 20’s and this molester wanted to take nude photos of me. Enough! I was done with him. I found the strength to say it was over, he was no longer my “daddy”. So now it has been some 6 years and I have had no contact with him.

My Second Saving Grace

A new friend, she had been in my same situation. Wow! I’m not alone! With some special talks and some encouragement I found the strength to go back to counseling. During this time I am remembering events of the abuse that I had pushed back in my mind. Pushed back because it was too painful to remember. My friend tells me to write it down, why you ask? To do what I need to do. To call him out. To go to the police and get this molester off the streets. I can not imagine this molester doing any of the same acts to another girl! I can not imagine this molester photographing girls nude as his sick perverted way to get his fix! So I’m calling him out.

Where I’m at Today

I’m making the arrangements, finding my strength, and putting the pieces together to finally find some piece of justice. I will be filing a police report soon. I have a saving grace friend and a loved one by my side. They both will be there to help, encourage and support me.

I’ll keep you posted.

To all the girls, women, daughters, mothers, ladies, boys, men, sons, dads or loved ones out there…if you have been sexual assualted and need help…there is someone there for you. Find your safe haven and go to www.RAINN.org or call 1.800.656.HOPE its confidential help 24/7. Every 2.5 minutes, another American is sexually assaulted. One in six women and one in 33 men will be victims of sexual assault or rape in their lifetime.