Limp along LuLu
You can just call me Limp along LuLu. I had my second surgery this past Monday to remove the displastic nevus from my lower left leg. Man I did not expect to be in so much pain to just simply walk. I’m healing ok, not is as much pain, well not much pain at all. 8 stitches on top, 5 beneath the skin. I also got the stitches on my shoulder removed. The doc said my healing was A+. I so totally rock!
I’ve had lots of friends ask how I’m doing and I’ve had my co-workers asking, helping and buying me breakfast to help me. What bothers me is there are two people very close to me that have not even called to see how I am doing – wait – three if you count my step-sister! That freakin bites people!! Are we too busy with our own lives to check in on that of someone else? Yah, I guess I was a little more important then I see that I am. NOT! Two people I’ve just recently got back into contact with this past week have even asked me how I was doing and wishing me well. I hadn’t even talked to on of them in 15+ years!! I’m just a little pissed!
I do have to give M much credit! She walked to the convenience store yesterday to buy me my favorite candy bar – my weakness. YOU ROCK M! I gotta get her a bag of her weakness, chips!
Any hoo! Gonna hit the sack, I’m beat. Limping around takes a lot out of you!
Recovery at the Beach…
Well, my surgery went, not totally as expected. Ok, the surgery itself was what I expected. What the doctor told me was not what I expected. He wanted me to use a sling. HUH?!? Because the skin cancer that was removed was on the front of my right shoulder it makes for a pretty tricky time in healing. Short and sweet, I could move my arm the wrong way and rip the stitches. OUCH! So he told me to use a sling and act like my arm was broken. Easier said then done, specially with two kids and the hubby having to work a lot this weekend. Even though we were at the beach for several days, he put in quite a bit of time working. So I was left with the boys alone. Got real good at picking the baby up pretty much with one arm and resting him on the hip. I really need to take it easy because I can still feel some pain. The incision is 2 inches and I have 5 stitches under the skin and 7 on top. My hubby said the doc should have gone along the arm to shoulder and taken it around to make it look like I got my arm sown back one. Like the bride of Frankenstein. NOT! Honey you too funny! So the next surgery is on my left calf on April 6th, guess I will have to walk with crutches on that one. Really I don’t know, but at this point if would not surprise me if that is what the doc says. Oh yeah! I was at the beautiful beach all weekend. One of the best places for me to just relax and chill. Enjoyed some good family time on the beach – I was stayed in the shade – watching the hubby fly his kite and the boys play in the sand. No wait, watched my older son play and the baby trying to eat everything on the beach. GROSS! Yeah, he quickly ended up back in my lap. Anywhoo…stitches will be removed either on the 6th or 8th whichever the doc chooses is best. Meanwhile my “right arm is broken” and I should call into work sick for the next week…aaahhh that would be nice. Shoe! I gotta go back to work tomorrow. Had a nice 4 day weekend though. Will be interesting working with my arm though…
Surgery #1
I have my first surgery to remove the skin cancer this Wednesday. Am I nervous? Not really. I’ve had two others already. I’ll be nervous with the one on my leg that could go into Melanoma and I’m not sure how I will feel with that one the day after. Wondering if I will be limping around. I will most likely have about 5 – 6 stitches on my right/front shoulder. About the same on my leg. So here’s to all you young ladies who want to get tan. Don’t lay out in the sun with out at least SPF15 and DO NOT go in to tanning beds. Why? You will be 35 and having the cancer removed or have leathery skin in your 50’s! It’s not worth it!
She’s Back
Just when I thought my life was down the path I am happy with and can feel at peace with, she’s back! She would be The Grandmother! Yeah, the one I posted about HERE. With previous posts there too. She called my parents. Not the first time btw. She wants their help. Why? Because I cut the ties, haven’t called her in well over a year. She’s wants my parents to help her be able to see her grandchildren. Thanks for giving me MORE stress! My dad talked to me about it. He thinks it is important since she is getting old to see the kids. But that would be for her benefit. My boys don’t know her. I do feel bad, I am not a total bitch. Somehow I feel its all or nothing. All the relationship with her or nothing. I was ok with the nothing. She was the last one to tie me to Alan. Once I stopped talking to her there seemed to be some peace in me to concentrate on my family and more important my marriage. I didn’t have the past abuse to effect me. With her in my life, again there’s the tie to Alan. The tie to the abuse. The wondering is she abused him. Who abused him? Her husband passed many years ago, and I don’t think of him. They are a part of my life I was moving past. How can I do that when she has these requests? My parents say they will support me in what decision I choose and somewhere I just don’t believe that is entirely true. For if I say no, I KNOW they, or at least my dad, will put in his two cents. I have to make the best decision for my boys and myself. I can not think of anyone else. I can’t think of anyone else or their feelings. I know that may sound cold, but it is the best thing for me and my boys. I did talk to my hubby and ultimately his says it is my decision and he will stand behind me no matter what I decide. I believe him. I even think he may “stick” up for me with the parents. I do not want her to see the boys. They do not know her and I think the situation would be more uncomfortable for them. Gosh, I just feel like a real jerk. Can you see this is tearing me apart! I do not like hurting her, but I just can’t. I know she will go back to Alan and just talk. He is the last person I want to ever know anything about my boys. He does not deserve to have a place in their life or to have any information on them. I’ve got a big decision, no, I know what I want to do. I just have to tell my parents. It wasn’t right of her to put them in the middle of this either. Now they have to go to her and tell her I don’t feel it is right for her to see them. Perhaps I could write a letter to her. My parents do not need to be in the middle. It is not fair for them. AARRGGHH! I don’t drink but I need a real stiff one right now!
Changes may be coming
I’ve been thinking lately that I may change things up a bit to my blog here…I’m more like a survivor of sexual abuse and no longer feel the need (as strong anyways) to tell the world that Alan Riegler molested me.
Anyways…I’m going to see what I can do and may just surprise myself in the process.
And the award goes to…
Cancer
Got my test results in. I have skin cancer, squamous cell to be exact. Also, Atypical Nevi. What’s that you say? It’s a mole that has the potential to become Melanoma. I can deal with the first kind, this is the third spot of it I’ve had. It will be removed with surgery. Nothing big they just cut it out and I will have a scar. The other one bothers me. I was not expecting to hear the results on it. It will also be removed the same way. I can be your poster child for skin cancer and what the damn sun can do to you. I love the outdoors and the beach. But damn I have to be bathed in sun screen and fully clothed. Not fair. I wish I had my hubbies nice dark tan! My older son got daddies skin, but the baby got mine. Sorry baby! I know that I will have to be careful, with BOTH of them! I don’t want either of them to have to go through what I’m dealing with. I’m to young too! But I guess skin cancer has no age requisites.
I will keep you updated on how everything is going. Surgery dates are: March 25th for the squamous and April 6th for the other bitch.
One Hell of a week
This past week at work was a roller coaster from hell. Not to mention my shity day on Wednesday. It pails in comparison to Thursday. It’s was about 10am and three guys from the estimating department came walking by to bid us goodbye. Why? Because they ALL had just been laid off. Then about 30 mins later our sales guy came over to tell us he was packing up his office. He’s a bullshiter so we didn’t believe him until we walked to his office and saw his stuff packed. Damn another let go. My two co-workers and I were in our supervisors office talking about the events of that morning. It was not easy to just see 4 people you work with get laid off. Then about 15 mins later, my one coworker and I were walking towards the front of the building…our supervisor was not in their office. Ok, as we round the corner we notice that the door to the CFO’s office was shut. Oh shit, I asked my coworker if the head of HR was in their office. Nope! Man! I knew immediately that they were letting our supervisor go too. Crap! About 10 mins go by and the supervisor comes out and comes over to us and tells us the news. I was right. That makes 5 people let go. I can see the unemployment for my state just go up a percent. My coworkers and I go out to lunch, we needed a break big time. Although it was still very hard to come back to work and actually be productive. So I go home and enjoy a quiet evening of NOT talking about work. The next morning I hear the news that one more person was let go. Now that is six people in one day. I’m sad to see all them go. I hate the reason too, damn economy! I’m glad it was not me. I feel bad because I know the owner of the company had to do it, but didn’t want to by any means. How many more emotions can yea evoke in me. Man! I needed a three day weekend, yet will only get two. Back to work it is for me tomorrow. It is going to be hard, but I will be busy with the added work I’m going to get that my supervisor used to do. It also means reporting to the CFO now. Just gotta get to know the CFO’s personality better. Their nice to work with. I’m so glad I still have a job to go to tomorrow.
Something Fun…I hope
Ok, I want everyone who reads this to respond. Yes that means you! I want you to pick any letter of the alphabet, plus the nine letters after and come up with the first word that you think of. What ever comes to mind I do not care. And no this is not some experiment or test of sorts. Just a crazy idea that just popped into my head. Can you tell I’m a little bored and don’t feel like getting up from the computer.
Ok here is my attempt:
Dog
Everyone
Fat
Goat
House
Ice Cream
Jokes
Kids
Love
Money
Now (ha ha how did that happen) it’s your turn…
Nadda
Sorry, I got nothin’ for ya today…I’m completely blank with the words my friends. I can’t think of anything juicy no matter how much I would have to fib about it. WAH WAH WAH….
One of those days
Have you ever had one of those days? I’m talking the kind where you wish you could just turn around and go back home. That was my day. It’s not easy to go to work knowing your hubby is home with your kids and each of you wish you were where the other is. Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful to have a job in this economy, but if it were up to me I would rather be the one unemployed and not my hubby. There is just something with in moms that gives us the ability to stay at home with our kids and not have a stress headache at the end of the day. Ok, that may not be true for all moms, but it is for me.
Anyways…my day at work was just down right shity! My only two co-workers left in my department just both had something up their ass because for some reason just because they didn’t hear me respond with a Good Morning, that felt it was fine not to fucking talk to me all damn day! What ever happened to I’m not sure you heard me, good morning! Or hell, just going out there on a limb (and hoping it doesn’t break) what about asking me if I was feeling ok. Because NO I was not. Last Friday I had 7 precancerous spots frozen off my skin, one on each arm, one on one leg and four on the other leg. On top of that I had three spots removed by freaking razor blade to be sent off to get tested for skin cancer. I’ve been through this before, two other times, but damn it never feels good and you sure as hell do not get used to it! You can call me one of the whitest white girls you have ever seen, so I get really burnt if out in the sun too much. Damn genes from the parents. I was slapped with the white skin stick from both sides. Then spat on by the angels with freckles all over. I don’t mind them, I love them now, but going through this is hell. I’ve had several stiches already to remove the skin cancer. So with this having been done, the economy, my hubby having no luck with the job hunting I have been feeling pretty down. It would have been nice to have been able to talk to my coworkers but go figure.
My day did end on an up note though. My mom knowing how the hubby and I have been feeling offered and came over to watch the boys so that the hubby and I could go out alone for a nice little dinner. It was really nice. The hubby really enjoyed getting away from the kids for a bit and it really felt nice to just be able to talk to each other. I love my mommy! Yep, she wins the mommy of the year award!!!
Alright all you loyal readers, this makes two posts in two days. Wow what a really nice treat for you! I will try to make it a little more upbeat for you tomorrow. Later!
